Thursday
16Feb2006
Love and Marriage...It's an Institute You Can't Disparage
I know it's all the rage to decry marriage.. I was just forced to listen to three women discuss how "boring" married people are and how marriage is, "like, totally an aging institution".. "Look at the divorce rate", I was told in an effort to persuade me to their side of the great marital divide.
Thing is, I believe in marriage now, more than ever.. I'm tired of clever hipster malarkey trashing The Marrieds. Oh Bridget Jones, your aged philosophy is so passe! And so is marriage bashing.
I'm in the midst of clawing my way to a new kind of marriage. The kind that's real. The kind of union that doesn't take it's cue from my eleven year old self. The little girl who raptly watched shite romance movies and believed that some director's wet dream is the way life really is, ultimately banging my head against the wall in frustration when reality stumbles and doesn't live up to it's celluloid counterpart.
THAT'S why the divorce rate is so high. People give up easier, forever in search of the greener grass the silver screen tricks us into believing is flourishing out there somewhere. So when your relationship doesn't work out for you, you taunt those of us still giving it the ol' college try.
Hollywood fucks with your head.. Oh ye clever singletons can deny, deny, deny.. but that insidiously chimerical version of love and marriage was at work on your susceptible brain cells long before you developed your super sardonic persona. As a result, it's as much a part of you as that sarcastic edgy side you've spent years cultivating. It lives and breathes in the darkest corners of your battered hearts.
"Fuck marriage. It's not realistic!" You may shout whilst glugging lush pinky cocktails, prowling the scene for your next hopeful. But deep down, underneath that thick skin you've spent most of your twenties growing, you know you long for prince charming to enter stage left. You desperately dream of the day he gallups gallantly toward you on his trusty steed and saves your hypocritical ass from farting dust on pee stained retirement home rocking chairs, lamenting your loneliness before finally, blessedly "accidentally" overdosing on painkillers at the age of 80. I know. I was you. Until I met The One..
So marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. So I want to beat The Surge within an inch of his life when his ugly side snorts and chuffles it's way into our relationship. Know what? When I think about never having met that boy, I want to die.
The specter of life without The Surge is as terrifying as contemplating what happens when the grim reaper beckons me with his bony finger and places his scythe 'round my neck. The Rock Boy has opened the floodgates to THE REAL ME. The me I didn't even know existed when I was but a husk of a girl, toiling away at FOX 13 in Salt Lake City. The man is simply unbelievable. And I say this with conviction, after having experienced his trumpeting farts in the still of the night, his incapacitation when it comes to scouring a toilet, his ability to slay you with a sentence, rendering you tearfully incoherant over his dark side.
The man has blown my world wide open in ways I could never have imagined. I view my existence on this planet differently. My reasons for living have changed. I escaped from the shackles of my own naturally debilitating personality the very first time we ever spoke.
Make no mistake, I am a strong, independent woman without him, but I am fucking invincible as long as he's on my team. I pity the fool that scoffs at that concept.
Feb 16, 2006
Reader Comments (32)
Just give me a drumset, a front porch, and a neighborhood of children to scare in my old-age, and I'll be happy.
That said, I respect anyone who wants to be married.
marriage is once again becoming hip...hipsters getting married to hipsters...how cool is that....how hip are those kids going to be...it hurts....
I lost my train of thought....but it's all about a real marriage....the only way to make it work is not play by the rule book written by Alan Thicke and the blonde woman who played his wife in growing pains....my wife and I NEED our time apart...our families constintly think we are in trouble....but it's just the opposite...we are happier than any sad shit at a Joyce Leslie looking at dresses with his babies mama.
Hollywood is slaughtering marriage with a double edged sword.. First - they create these dreamy movies no real love story could ever live up to, making us all feel like shit... then celebrities go around treating spouses like the flavor of the month.. Few and far between are the Tom Hanks and Rita Wilsons..
Mom - you just need to remarry dad and get it over with already... You two are so suited for each other it's disgusting.
But that's what live is about, love. Every species, everyone searches for a mate. It's not about feminism. It's not about codependence. It's about learning to love, really learning to love. I am jealous of those couples who have it figured out. I hope I get there.
The message was clear - don't give away your power to a man. So, my sister and I stayed single - how do you have a relationship without giving your "power"?
So it wasn't until we were in our forties with ovaries in wheelchairs that we negotiated a life with a man.
You saw the beginning - It's not easy - but yes, it's worth it - when you forget about the power struggle you find out how lovely it is when someone "has your back".
"ovaries in wheelchairs"... that was good.
Oh yeah - you wrote most of it before the two oclock meeting!
Just read the article about you in city weekly .. you've blown some people out of the water here.
Man we miss you!
Damn I miss your svelte ass! (Ladies and Gentleman - a bonafide celebrity is in our midst)
Great site - happy to hear things are on track with the man - it takes a while to get in the groove - no?
On another note, you must tune in tomorrow dear gal.. Strangely, I just wrote a blog with you very much in mind.
Clue: Me, you, Randall Carlisle at a bar in downtown SLC... remember the topic at hand?
I look forward to tomorrow's fix.
http://www.fox13.com
Take that back to the SLC news team.
There Wry Bri...are you happy?
Yes, B, my good man - Hope is the one and only from FOX fame and she is delicious. Send her some fan email, she'll probably answer. She's a softie like that. Better yet, pretend you have some type of injury and can't make next months rent. She's a sucker for the underdog.
Chicago Dave - Coincidentally, Chicago is Hope's hometown.
One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.
This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. "
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep."
I cried from laughter
Sorry, if not left a message on Rules.