Friday
14Jul2006
The Signal
"I want you to cum."
The instant I pant this last sentence his features transform from near ecstasy to abject disappointment. He knows that like a baseball coach signaling a player to stay at second base, the hit isn't a homerun. He knows the sentence "I want you to cum" means I am not going to orgasm and he should quit worrying about timing, about whether or not it's going to happen and just go ahead and do his thing.
"It's still good, it's still fun. I love it!" I tell him. But it's not the same to him. He is not completely happy. For him, without that homer, it ain't a good ball game.
It's this way with most men. They think they aren't doing it correctly, aren't touching the right spots, pushing the proper buttons. Men from my past would sometimes refuse to accept the fact that I just know when it isn't going to happen. When given The Signal they speed up their repertoire and like a player charging the umpire who called them out - begin to assault me. Only instead of slapping, punching and kicking, they're rubbing, licking and touching so vigorously I can see sparks flying from my goodtimes. As if speed has something to do with pleasure.
Getting The Signal doesn't mean I'm calling you out. Doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself. Sometimes a girl just knows it ain't gonna happen. Generally, it's nobody's fault (I said generally I have been with some poor souls who just don't know vagina from asshole) Generally though, it's physiological.
Why is it that men think a girl has to cum to have a good time? Oh, I see. It's not about my good time, is it? It's because you think my lack of orgasm is a direct reflection of your sexual prowess? Would you prefer I fake an orgasm instead? When a fella is pounding away.. trying to focus on (ironically) baseball to keep from finishing early and a lady realizes it's just not going to happen for her, she might as well tell you to go for it.
Men, they can orgasm at the drop of a hat.. The most popular question on askmen.com is how do I solve my premature ejaculation?. "Women, on the other hand, were a different story. A third said they regularly didn't want sex, 26 percent said they regularly didn't reach orgasm and 23 percent said sex was not pleasurable."
God's cruel joke? According to askmen.com the average male takes less than 3 minutes from the time of insertion till he ejaculates. It can sometimes take me a half hour to 'slide into home'. The moral of the story? Don't charge the ump when she gives you The Signal. It's not failure on your part, it's just another mystery of the female body. And regardless of hitting that homer, it's still a hell of a game.
The instant I pant this last sentence his features transform from near ecstasy to abject disappointment. He knows that like a baseball coach signaling a player to stay at second base, the hit isn't a homerun. He knows the sentence "I want you to cum" means I am not going to orgasm and he should quit worrying about timing, about whether or not it's going to happen and just go ahead and do his thing.
"It's still good, it's still fun. I love it!" I tell him. But it's not the same to him. He is not completely happy. For him, without that homer, it ain't a good ball game.
It's this way with most men. They think they aren't doing it correctly, aren't touching the right spots, pushing the proper buttons. Men from my past would sometimes refuse to accept the fact that I just know when it isn't going to happen. When given The Signal they speed up their repertoire and like a player charging the umpire who called them out - begin to assault me. Only instead of slapping, punching and kicking, they're rubbing, licking and touching so vigorously I can see sparks flying from my goodtimes. As if speed has something to do with pleasure.
Getting The Signal doesn't mean I'm calling you out. Doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself. Sometimes a girl just knows it ain't gonna happen. Generally, it's nobody's fault (I said generally I have been with some poor souls who just don't know vagina from asshole) Generally though, it's physiological.
Why is it that men think a girl has to cum to have a good time? Oh, I see. It's not about my good time, is it? It's because you think my lack of orgasm is a direct reflection of your sexual prowess? Would you prefer I fake an orgasm instead? When a fella is pounding away.. trying to focus on (ironically) baseball to keep from finishing early and a lady realizes it's just not going to happen for her, she might as well tell you to go for it.
Men, they can orgasm at the drop of a hat.. The most popular question on askmen.com is how do I solve my premature ejaculation?. "Women, on the other hand, were a different story. A third said they regularly didn't want sex, 26 percent said they regularly didn't reach orgasm and 23 percent said sex was not pleasurable."
God's cruel joke? According to askmen.com the average male takes less than 3 minutes from the time of insertion till he ejaculates. It can sometimes take me a half hour to 'slide into home'. The moral of the story? Don't charge the ump when she gives you The Signal. It's not failure on your part, it's just another mystery of the female body. And regardless of hitting that homer, it's still a hell of a game.
Jul 14, 2006
Reader Comments (33)
Usually that makes for the most satisfying sex.
I've rarely shlepped off into the night feeling less of a man when cumming didn't happen. Many times it can be a function of whatever personal travails are inhabiting the brain at the time: or too much booze.
As far as the insta-cum goes; not moi. Takes me forever. See reasons above. Lotsa leg cramps and sweaty brow's in my past.
Anyway, my two cents. If you want to talk about the sex-witholding game, or the relative merits of Type- A folk's having sex with their beaten-down, Type-B spouses; we can do that later.
Nicely written even if I disagree slightly.
Wake your ass out of bed, hit the shower, quick little breakfast, kiss loved one goodbye, maybe a cup of mud, drive to work (might take the train), do whatever work it is that you do, some lunch, more same work, drive your tired ass home, say hello to loved one, watch some television, eat some dinner, more television, put on jammies, convince loved one to copulate, proceed to copulate then hear words “are you done yet”?, or “just go, please for the love of god just blow your fucking wad so I can watch some shit t.v.”.
How fun is that existence?
Now insert this after the dinner part of the day:
Woman or gay lover: “You know, I have been craving some serious cock all day and can’t wait for you to teach mama (or daddy) a lesson”. Or “After I get done eating this chicken noodle soup, I am going to help myself to all the dessert in your pants, big boy”.
I could go on with more but you get the idea.
And yes, I understand sometimes you are just tired, fine.
"All the dessert in your pants, big boy?"
(sound of a lonely, divorced man blowing his load all over the office floor!)
Boy it's hot in this office today!
2. The picture of those pillows is hands down the funniest thing I've seen all day. Is that satin? Where does one find a pink satin "not tonight" pillow?
Men! You've gotta stop pressuring us so much to cum to make you happy.
Ladies: if you are a faker, please for the love of god, never fake it after giving the Signal. It only encourages them.
Thanks!
Utter chaos!
Is that good enough honey?
Hmmm. That was probably too much info. Oh well.
I'm glad I'm back too.
I believe that open communication between two people during sex and developing the skill to be more sensitive to the sexual needs of your partner is more important than having an orgasm during sex.
An experience of having an orgasm is a pleasurable product of such a relationship but it isn't the only one.
Men need to start realizing that no woman is the same & that we all have different ways of experiencing sexual pleasure. If a woman isn't feeling it, then men you're going to accept it & try again some other time.
Remember, women need to feel relaxed & comfortable to experience an orgasm (basic physiology) and pressuring a woman to have an orgasm is just making her feel all tense & can possibly ruin the experience for both of you.
Overall, I agree that sex shouldn't be measured by the number of orgasmic experiences.Instead the focus should be on openly talking about sex with your partner and developing a sexual relationship that is pleasurable for both of you.