Thursday
03Aug2006
Priorities
"You get avacados?" The Surge asks?
"Yup, right here.. As ripe as my fantastic ta-tas."
"I thought you said you could store nuts for the winter under the recent sag."
"Dude.. you don't need to remind me. Just engaging in a little positive self-affirmation is all."
"I'm just repeating what you said. I think you have an exquisite pair." My husband smoothly slides this last sentence into the conversation like a victorious baseball player sliding into home. Evidence that a man is never too old to train. It just takes a lot of screaming, crying, throwing of the wedding ring and the like.
"You think any pair is exquisite." I reply, pleased nonetheless. "Did you get taco shells and hot sauce?"
"Right here. You got onions?"
"Si senor. And tomatoes. I think our work here is done."
"I've only got twenty-four dollars on me. How much do you think this is going to come to?"
"I don't know, but we can't withdraw anything. There's nothing to withdraw. Rent check just cleared. I think our balance is, like, 50 cents. Maybe 60."
"Let's add this up."
We fall silent as each of us conducts our own mentally tally of the groceries in our basket. God forbid, we go above our cash limit, forced to shamefacedly ask the cashier if she can subtract the avacados, we can't afford them.
"Shit. I'm at twenty-one dollars already and we still haven't accounted for Diet Coke."The Surge says.
"We need milk too." I remind my betrothed.
"Oh." His face scrunches up as he runs numbers through his beautiful head like a professional bookie. "We can't afford both" he determines, sadly shaking his head.
"What's it going to be, milk or Diet Coke?" I ask.
We both pause to consider the greatest quandary of our day. Milk? Or Diet Coke? Hmmm... I let the air conditioned air lick my body, can hear electric snatches of Sheryl Crow crowing about soaking up the sun leaking out of the weak grocery store intercom.
"Diet Coke" we say in unison. And there it is.
Calcium? Please. Priorities, people.
"Yup, right here.. As ripe as my fantastic ta-tas."
"I thought you said you could store nuts for the winter under the recent sag."
"Dude.. you don't need to remind me. Just engaging in a little positive self-affirmation is all."
"I'm just repeating what you said. I think you have an exquisite pair." My husband smoothly slides this last sentence into the conversation like a victorious baseball player sliding into home. Evidence that a man is never too old to train. It just takes a lot of screaming, crying, throwing of the wedding ring and the like.
"You think any pair is exquisite." I reply, pleased nonetheless. "Did you get taco shells and hot sauce?"
"Right here. You got onions?"
"Si senor. And tomatoes. I think our work here is done."
"I've only got twenty-four dollars on me. How much do you think this is going to come to?"
"I don't know, but we can't withdraw anything. There's nothing to withdraw. Rent check just cleared. I think our balance is, like, 50 cents. Maybe 60."
"Let's add this up."
We fall silent as each of us conducts our own mentally tally of the groceries in our basket. God forbid, we go above our cash limit, forced to shamefacedly ask the cashier if she can subtract the avacados, we can't afford them.
"Shit. I'm at twenty-one dollars already and we still haven't accounted for Diet Coke."The Surge says.
"We need milk too." I remind my betrothed.
"Oh." His face scrunches up as he runs numbers through his beautiful head like a professional bookie. "We can't afford both" he determines, sadly shaking his head.
"What's it going to be, milk or Diet Coke?" I ask.
We both pause to consider the greatest quandary of our day. Milk? Or Diet Coke? Hmmm... I let the air conditioned air lick my body, can hear electric snatches of Sheryl Crow crowing about soaking up the sun leaking out of the weak grocery store intercom.
"Diet Coke" we say in unison. And there it is.
Calcium? Please. Priorities, people.
Aug 3, 2006
Reader Comments (18)
My sister's boyfriend was SUPPOSED to get me some for my x-mas present, he never got me any! :(
We all know you have the best tits on the planet and you are the lay of the century, but today you gotta read Xmastime.
http://www.xmastime.blogspot.com/
Tits, glorious tits, eh?
Just wonderin'?
1-bottle diet, whatever= $2.00
1-40oz Old German beer = $2.50
Great little story.
will remember about milk, right!!!
Love the new look.
I'll go for the roast chicken :) Priority in cooking something in the oven.