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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Thursday
Dec022010

One Ring To Rule Them All? Or Not.

I never had an engagement ring. The day Serge and I got married we bought a couple rings from a mall kiosk for ten bucks apiece. In the evening we drove out to a judge's house and tied the knot with those flimsy, silver rings.

A couple years later, while swimming in a lake in Pennsylvania on the 4th of July, mine broke. I've not really worn anything since. Mostly because I'm just not a jewelry person. I've tried to be, God, how I've tried. I see cute girls with silver hoop earings and clickety-clackety bracelets, bangles and giant rings and I secretly wish I was that kind of girl. But I'm just not. Hellsakes, I can barely slap on make-up in the morning. Dangly earrings? Get the fuck outta here. But I want to wear them.

Sometimes, during work meetings, I touch Christina's rings. She's a producer at the news station where I work. She wears big, pretty, funky rings and sometimes I want to try them on. I never do, but I think about it. I wonder if they'd transform my boring, no nail polish hands like they do hers. I wish I wore rings like Christina. But I just can't get up the energy and focus required to not only decide on one to purchase but commence with the mixing and matching of rings to ensembles and then there they are, hanging around on my hand annoying me. And it's not just now that I'm an old, fat mom. I never really did accessories.

I was super proud of my mall kiosk wedding ring and when it broke I was bummed. When it has occurred to me over the years I have sometimes wished Serge would, of his own accord, present me with a ring. A real ring. Just this one time I wanted to be the girl in the movie. Mouth open in surprise, hand flutters questioningly to parted lips as she looks up at her fella with wide, shining eyes that say really? For me?

Somehow, against my will, this romance-y, traditional bullshit seeped into a tiny portion of my normally rational, frugal brain. Why do I want a ring? Again, I don't pine for one but when I try the idea on for size I like it. Like the idea of wearing a wedding ring. You know, because I'm married. But, well, diamonds. They're expensive. There are always more reasonable items to purchase. And really, it isn't a big deal. Serge still has his ring, he wears it every day. To keep the babes at bay and stuff. I'm sure if he took it off all hell would break loose. Chicks would probably fling themselves at him on street corners and at the 7 eleven. They used to do that, actually. Not at 7 eleven but in smoky clubs after he and his band, Marah, did their thing.

And, I mean, HELLO! Can you blame them?

Right after we secretly got married Serge put his ring on a chain around his neck and went back on tour in Europe. Each time fan/professional photos of Marah would surface I would eagerly study each one to see if I could spot the ring dancing on his sweaty chest. I always could. After the marriage cat was out of the bag and he put the ring on his finger I'd still anxiously scan band photos, always trying to spot that cheap, mall kiosk ring. It was a thrill to see it glinting there as he played the guitar, harmonica or smoked a cigarette.

I love that he wears his ring. The ring.

I think it sometimes bothers him that I don't wear one but mine broke! Anything else doesn't feel legit and honestly, I like unfettered fingers, if that makes any kind of sense at all, and so mostly my fingers are naked. Every now and again I'll go on a jag and wear a silver band for a time but then I take it off to do something or other and forget about it.

Last week, out of the blue, Serge announced that he'd like to buy me a ring for Christmas. A real ring. I'm not going to lie, I was thrilled. But I called it a frivolous expense and tried to talk him out of it. He stuck to his guns. Suddenly, like an engaged twenty-something, I found myself intently researching the differences between white gold, platinum and palladium. But that's not all, folks. I marveled while at the mall one day when I found myself eagerly pulling Serge into a jewelry store to get my finger sized.

Then I took it up a notch when I proceeded to contact a friend of ours, a big mucky-muck at a jewelry company who explained the difference between platinum and palladium and offered to help us find the right ring for a discount. Serge emailed her and she emailed him and before you can say one thousand dollars there was an email in my inbox today showcasing a .50 carat diamond and a palladium band and it can be all ours for the aforementioned thousand bucks.

But I can't do it. I just can't. It's too frivolous. I'm not even a ring person! Right? We have big plans for 2011, not to mention a kid on the way! Serge is adamant that we're getting the ring, which I find interesting, even a bit thrilling but I think that in and of itself is enough. The fact that he initiated the whole thing and really wants to get his old lady a ring is the good part. And sure I'd like getting a real ring after all this time but I'm just fine without it. Like I said, I don't have the best track record of steadily wearing jewelry. Granted, I've never had real jewelry to wear but you know what I'm saying.

This is the part where you come in... And don't give me any of that "you deserve it, get the ring" bullshit. Give it to me straight, people. Is it really worth it? I don't need it. Sure it's a lovely token of our relationship but not necessarily a token we should be purchasing willy nilly at this particular time. We can always get one later. What say you?

Reader Comments (127)

I think its worth it. My husband had my wedding band engraved with a irish-gaelic phrase that translates as "My heart is within you". I treasure it. TREASURE IT... and when I actually clean my rings before a date, my husband will grab my hand and beam with pride at the jewelry he put on my hand. It's a tangible symbol of our bond and he's proud that we belong to each other.
Think of it this way, You LOVE seeing your husband wearing your wedding band, think how much it will mean to your husband to see you wear a ring he picked out for you. It means something special to him. I think in this case, it's worth it. Your marriage versus a bunch of baby crap your baby doesn't REALLY need? Think about it that way.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatyE

Get. The. Ring.

And saying, "You deserve it," is a totally appropriate response. Married people who don't wear rings are always suspect to me--and I'm about as far from a traditional-type person as they come--except when it comes to wedding rings. Furthermore, I can totally relate to your desire for having unfettered fingers, but suck it up! A ring is such a charming token of your marriage.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterH

I think you've secretly been wanting one and now is your chance. If you wanted just a cheap replacement ring you would have purchased it for yourself already (or have kept up with wearing the silver bands). But it's a ring, it's a one time expense -sure you could use the money for something else, but it sounds pretty reasonable and not really frivolous -it's not like you're springing for a 2 karat $50,000 ring. Plus, with a wedding band, you don't have to take it off for anything so once you put it on you'll eventually forget you have it on. I think it's the taking on and off of jewelry that you get hung up on -so just put it on and leave it (until you get real pregnant and your fingers swell! haha).

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Also, your Serge is a sensitive, romantic guy. Don't shit on that. Let him buy you the ring. You are carrying his man-child. You gave birth to his beloved, beautiful Violet. You don't have to bust his chops ALL the time. Please. I promise the pride he'll feel will make it worth it.
*I realized after I posted my first thought was that it might not make sense... so I said "Shit" in this one hoping for some bloggy-style street cred. Word.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatyE

I think it is totally worth it. It's very symbolic and it will give you something that you might want to pass along to Violet someday.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternovemberjuliet

Get the damn ring. If you like it or not, it will mean a lot to both of you.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKami

GET. THE. RING.

I love mine. LOVE IT. And I am not a jewelry person either. I wear my wedding rings, a simple chain, and some family bracelets that never come off. But everyday I look at my wedding set and it makes me so happy. You will love it every day. That is well worth $1000.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Stop it. Do yourself a favor and get out of your adoring, adorable husband's way and let him do for you not only what YOU really want him to do, deep down inside, but what he also apparently wants to do.

Wear a damn ring on your finger, and do it with pride.

There are so few things left in life anymore that are done purely for sentimental, nostalgic, romantic, or loving reasons. Wearing a wedding ring is one of those. You do deserve to take part in that, and you know what? Your kids deserve it, too. They deserve to see their parents wearing rings simply because they love each other.

And your kids also deserve for you and Serge to create an heirloom for them. How cool it will be someday when your child or grandchild pr great-grandchild holds your wedding ring and gives it to the person they love, as a grand romantic gesture and a way of connecting themselves and their love to you and your husband and *your* love.

P.S. We expect to see photos of said ring on said hand, btw.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDena

I don't respond very often to posts but this one evoked a very strong response in me-to put it simply-Get the Ring! I am also a VERY frugal person who doesn't crave a lot of the jewelry most women seem to, but I have been married for 22 years and I can still look at my ring(s) and feel all that they symbolize. Hope to see pictures of your new ring soon!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterABQ Steph

Let the man (who I mean DAMN is finer than fine) buy you a ring, and then wear it! Look at how much of your post is about how you feel when you see him wearing his wedding band. Enjoy the fact that he wants you to have an outward expression of your love, and let him enjoy seeing it. Having a nice wedding ring means you can leave it on, aways. Your finger will get use to it, will come to love it, mine did and like you I'm not a jewelry.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Have you compared prices? That seems kind of high for that small of a diamond. Diamonds should be cheap as all get out right now because the market is flooded with them. (People selling their rings because gold is so high right now.)

You strike me as the kind of girl that would be just as happy with a $200 sparkler from the local pawn shop. Just as much bang for the buck, if not more. That way, when you get tired of wearing it (sine you're a no jewelry type person) you won't be ate up with guilt over the fact that you keep it tucked away in a drawer somewhere.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMy_Take

Rings are damn sexy. I think almost nothing is as sexy on a man as a ring, a five o' clock shadow, and the occasional forearm tattoo. And I agree- if you think Serge is all hot and sexy with his ring, imagine how he would feel to see the ring that HE bought especially for his wife, the mother of his children, on your left hand??

Btw- I am married to you. My husband is a budget-loving, Dave-Ramsay-following, practical sonofabitch just like you...but he knows that there are some things in life that are important enough to veer off of the budget for. This is one of those things. A thousand dollars is nothing when you think of what it means and will mean for many years to come. Maybe you'll give Violet that ring someday...as she walks down the aisle? Or maybe you'll pass it on to The Boy to give to his betrothed as a wedding gift. Point is...do it. I can guaran-fricken-tee you that you won't regret it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Umm ... I'm the same way. Rings don't work on my fat-knuckled, skinny fingers, and I don't really dig them, and ... Yeah, don't wear one.

We ordered some from Etsy when we got married but mine fit funny, predictably, and his scratched right away. We've never replaced them, although the rings were his idea in the first place and I think he would like to.

So, while I empathize and would say, "Why spend the money?" as far as me and you are concerned ... It's important to Serge. For that reason, I'd say that unless you actively didn't want to wear a ring, you should go for it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersquandra

Yes! You have to get the ring. $1000 is nothing for a daily reminder of your man wanting you to be his wife. My ring is one of my most treasured possessions and it has nothing to do with the diamonds or the metal but its all the love and other cheesy shit that no one here wants to read about. The best part about it though is how much my husband loves it and its the same way I love his ring.. the same way you love Serge's. So just get the ring that your sweet husband wants to give you... you crazy woman!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermeg

i'm not a ring person either. the ring brian got me was an heirloom from his great grandmother. it sits in a box on my dresser. every now and then i put it on. while i never wear it, i love what it symbolizes. more than that, i can't wait to give it over to scarlett or whoever is my favorite child. get the ring. what's a thousand bucks over a life time? not much.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermeg

Not a jewelry person either, and in addition to being frivolous, they are not exactly environmentally or miner-friendly. But I have one, and love it, and here's how that came about.

Hubby is an environmental scientist, and would have preferred no ring at all, so I got all outside the box and started googling recycled jewelry. And I found this nice lady http://www.lesliewind.com/gallery.htm who, at the time, made jewelry out of recycled metal, including stuff you sent her that you didn't want anymore. I just so happened to have two gold bracelets given to me for my college graduation (by my godmother) and grad school graduation (by my godfather) that I never wore nor was ever going to wear. I mailed them to her, she melted them down and made two lovely rings just for us! They are a little like those shark vertebra rings on the link above. I'm not sure she still does this, but I'm sure someone does. The whole process (she had to add some of her own gold, as we did not have enough) was $300.

And then, for our honeymoon, we went camping in Colorado, and stumbled upon these giant slag heaps that were left over from gold mining and basically destroyed the area and its groundwater, and we were SO GLAD that no new gold was mined in the service of our symbols of commitment.

Nearly 9 years later, and I am still SO HAPPY with the rings. We get compliments all the time. It's the way to go--there must be some local artist there in Utah who would do this for you!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKajey

Just let the man buy you the damn ring. You want it, he wants to buy it for you, it's a beautiful, sweet, romantic, lovely, thing.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSadie

Get the ring. Serge wants you to have it and so you shall. Be sure that it's something you will wear, though. I don't wear jewelry, except a watch. I can't imagine having something on my finger all the time. I'm sure I'd get used to it, but it would have to be just the right size and all for me to even try. Some people have these humongous rings and I honestly don't know how they do it. If I wore something that bulky, it'd be broken and/or scratched in no time at all. And that's why I don't wear jewelry - even my watch is scratched! But I still say get the ring because he wants you to have it. It's important to him.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOpus

I have a gold band which cost $28.00 in 1961. I still wear it and am not a jewelry person. I did have a diamond. It was my grandmothers and I inherited it when my Mom died. I wore it for a year and then it just was too much in the way and I gave it to my daughter to enjoy while she was still young. I was old when I got it and just didn't care any longer.

So maybe, being young, your finger will become accustomed to the ring. Or maybe you should go for a plain gold band and get Serge a matching one both for the thousand dollars.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSus

It's not frivolous. Diamonds never lose their value and you can hand it down to Violet. I have my grandmother's wedding ring, and it is my most prized possession—and I'm not a jewelry person either. But don't just cough up a grip of dough for any ring, regardless of sparkle. Find one that suits you, speaks to you, has meaning to you. Then I promise you will not be conflicted about wearing it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterR

Dude, listen: NEVER turn down a diamond. I am not a jewelry person either, but when a hot guy wants to give you a diamond, you take it. It's a rule, somewhere. I am sure of it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

GET. THE. RING. There will ALWAYS be something else to do with the money you spend on the ring (pay bills, go on vacation, save for kids' education). When it comes to finances and money, there is never a right time for a large purchase. Instead focus on the fact that your husband wants to buy you the ring and you should accept the gift and the token of sentiment behind it. It is significant and meaningful and you know that deep down. Then wear it and smile every time you think about it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn M

Let him buy you the rings. Honestly, I'm with you on the accessory deal but my rings are a permanant part of me. Every time I look at mine I remember how much I love my husband and how proud I am that I'm his wife and the mother of his children. God that sounds hokey. But it's totally true.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChan

I think there may be a compromise here. I got my wedding on Overstock.com for $60. It's titanium and it rocks and was totally worth it. We got the wedding ring at Diamond Nexxus Labs - it's diamonds manufactured rather than mined - basically amazing fakes. It looks insanely beautiful and I love it so much - even more knowing it was 10% of the price it would have been it is was platinum and mined diamonds. (mine's white gold and honeslty I can't tell the difference.) I also love Karev's idea! It is incredibly swee that Serge wants to get you a ring, but you can do it in a way that also meets your long term goals.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeresAnAnswer

So that made no sense, so I'll try again:

Wedding ring: Titanium, no scratch, no break $60, Overstock.com
Engagement ring: Diamond Nexxus, awesome

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeresAnAnswer

You can't take it with you. Get the ring. It will make you happy every time you look at it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

Get the ring! You want a ring. Serge wants to buy you a ring. I am a jewelry person, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to commit to one ring. Okay that sounded like a big commitment-phobe. I was ready to commit to the boy, but the ring? Then he bought it and I love my ring. We had talked about rings for a long time and the boy picked out a ring that is totally cool but was not at all what I thought it would be. It means so much to me that he picked out something so non-traditional and that he knew I would like. So in summary... pro-ring.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterS

Get it. It's a physical reminder of love that you'll notice at the oddest times during your day. I really felt the same way you do and I never wear jewelry. I think the people I work with should count their blessings that I showed up wearing pants and a little bit of makeup. Jewelry is too much to ask.

But I never go anywhere without my ring. I still feel emotional when I look at it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennyK

I'm right there with you sister. I could care less about jewelry and never even considered wedding rings. In fact I didn't even think I was the marrying type. But when my husband pulled out a huge ass diamond and got down on one knee that all changed instantly. I absolutely freakin adore my ring, it's gorgeous and I still marvel at the sparkle and giggle. And we are dirt poor. Like we live in tiny condo with a roommate. We can't even afford our own place yet. But I wouldn't trade my ring for a down payment on a house or for anything else. I absolutely adore it!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Get the ring. I'll often look down at mine and smile remembering all the work John put in to find the perfect rock.

I love mine :)

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShauna (Fido & Wino)

I can completely relate to the "unfettered fingers" preference--I love jewelry, wear necklaces, earrings, bracelets of the bold and funky type daily, but rings? Noooo. Except. My titanium wedding band. It's like wearing nothing, or perhaps a feather. I never have to think about it--I can plunge my hands into the dirt, do any type of messy cooking or cleaning, even chase down and grab a hurt chicken and never think twice. I love, love, LOVE it. One thing to consider (unless they've made some developments since I got mine 6 years ago)--they can be resized only the smallest amount, so you'd probably want to wait until you're your usual size. Which would remove some of the romance... So... I agree with the consensus--get the ring. But get THE ring that suits the true you the best.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercarrie

My husband and I did our rings much the same as your first rings, and went together to buy them for ourselves. We spent eighty bucks altogether, and although I'm much the same as you in that I like my fingers nekkid, I love my silver ring and never take it off ( I chose a sweet, sturdy spiral ring that can take canadian rural living and my tendency to ruin nice things). I definitely like the whole wedding ring idea.
But DUDE. A thousand bucks? That is ALOT of money. And to be honest, it just doesn't seem like YOU, you know? I love how you and Serge have chosen to budget and step back from the rampant consumerism lifestyle. And point in hand, here is almost every person telling you exactly what every jewelry add does- buy it, you deserve it, everyone else has one, you should too. It's all a load of bunk. And don't even get me started on diamonds- I could think of a hundred other stones that are more beautiful, more economical, more unique and not so unethical. Buy a ring for sure, but buy one that suits who you are, man!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay

Don't get a ring while you are pregnant. Your fingers are swollen and it won't fit correctly after you after you give birth.

My advice on the diamond--forgo it until you have the money. If you want a ring, get wedding band. You can get one for under $200.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrdr

Why get a diamond? My ring is a sapphire - I adore it and it was much cheaper.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Get the ring. Simply for the reason he wants you to have the ring. We weren't going to do an engagement ring for me when we got married because of money issues. Unbeknownst to me, my husband-to-be saved money from his summer job to buy me a ring because it was important to him. He didn't know where to go, so he went to Tiffany's and bought the best ring he could get with what he had. I wear that ring every day and when I look at it, I remember the sacrifices he made for me then and continues to make for our family now. It reminds me about sacrifice, finding pleasure in giving others' pleasure and everything we have been through. Someone told him a few years ago, that he should upgrade the diamond because it was too small. I told him, never (and also called the person a few choice words under my breath). The love behind the diamond is not small -- It is 22 years old and going strong. Get the ring.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

If you love it, let him get it for you. If you don't, wait for something better to come along.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrachelgab

I think your commenters have reached consensus here, but I wanted to throw in my $0.02. My husband surprised me when he proposed with a custom ring that he designed and had a jeweler fabricate. We had already agreed to buy simple metal bands, so this was a complete surprise. Rather than get a diamond, he selected a beautiful 1+ ct. sapphire - it is unusual and gorgeous, and was way cheaper than an equal quality diamond. The fact that he did this for me makes this ring one of my most precious possessions. I look at it on my finger and I am reminded of his love for me, which I have to admit, I sometimes lose sight of.

Let Serge buy you the ring that he wants to buy you (custom, off the shelf, big or small) - you won't regret it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Go for it.

There's never going to be a *better* time. Once Baby #2 arrives, you'll have that many more expenses. Stuff will happen. Things will break that need to be repaired. More practical things will need to be purchased. There will never be a magic moment to sit back and say "Oh yes, I think now we should drop some cash on a ring."

(That is to say, I am assuming here that the ring, while "frivolous" would not be breaking the proverbial bank. If you truly CAN NOT afford it, don't do it. But if this is "We can afford it, but *should* we?" then yes, by all means, YES.)

My husband isn't a jewelry person and I had to pick my own engagement ring. I'm not even a big jewelry person either, I just wear the one ring. And it's not even a diamond. But I love it. I love wearing it and being reminded of this awesome person I'm spending my life with. It means a lot to me. Sure, there would have been more responsible things to do with the actual *money,* but my grandchildren are going to have to strip this thing off of my cold, dead hands, so I think it's a worthy investment.

(Which is another way... if slightly morbid... to look at it: creating an heirloom for Violet to potentially wear someday.)

ANYHOO. GO FOR IT! GET THE RING!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSonja

Dude. I'm not a diamond person (just got a sapphire engagement ring last month, actually!), but I would tell you this regardless of the carat or gem or whatever. Get the ring.

You can logically talk yourself out of anything. But this is a very sweet gesture and promises to never break. JUST LIKE YOUR LOVE. Ha. Cheese.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

My beloved presented me 3 years ago with a beautiful 2 carat garnet ring set in white gold with little channel-set diamonds on the sides. I treasure it, because it shows how well he knows me: I want one good piece of bling (2 carats is HUGE), but I'm not down with all the hoopla surrounding diamonds (mostly because a lot of people live really horrible lives mining those babies so a few really rich people can get richer) - and I don't like how freakin' expensive they are. My little bauble was under $300, and I love it more than the expensive diamond band I wore once upon a time in another life with another man. Of course I still ogle the beautiful shiny stones in the jewelry store windows, and sometimes i even entertain fantasies where I wear one of my own, but then I look down at my pretty (affordable) token of love from the man I love, and realize I already have more than I could have ever hoped for.

With that said, I'd buy the diamond if you can pay cash for it. If it's something you'll have to charge, get something you can pay cash for now, and save up for the diamond - maybe for an anniversary gift or something in a year or two?

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I'm not a jewelry person either.. and I hate hate hate having stuff on my fingers. But, when my fiancee (now husband) put the ring on my finger, it just... well... fit. I don't even notice it's there most of the time (short of the time that I sit and gah at it because I love it). I look at it and always know what it means. I'm not a ring person and I LOVE my ring. Love.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I touch and look at mine dozens of times a day and always think of the husband. It's not that I need the ring to think of him, but it sure is a pretty reminder.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermrs. smith

I never got all this 1000-Dollar-Rings bullshit. Finn and I have rings, but they're a) not super expensive ones and b) we got them way before we got married. actually her mum got them for us for christmas I think which was not as weird as it may sound :) we wear them every day. and in fact, I feel very naked leaving the house without it. However I usually forget about earrings and stuff like that. but watch, ring, phone... that's my ritual when leaving :)

but we decided to just keep those rings when we got married instead of spending money on something that we basically already had. we have, however, made plans to get some nice and simple silver rings if we ever travel to kautokeino together (they make beautiful silver jewelry there: http://www.juhls.no/).

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermccutcheon

Get the ring. A little bit because you want it and you'll like having it. But mostly because Serge wants you to have it, and no matter how much you tell him it's the thought that counts blah blah blah, he will feel shot down if you don't have it.

You only live once, treat yourself and relax for this one thing.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimbo

If you shut this down, isn't that the same as what you did with the registry list he was so excited about? My vote: let him do this and be happy about it!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteremily

I agree with everyone else - GET THE RING! I don't wear a lot of jewelry either, but I absolutely love mine because my husband picked it out himself, and it really does make me think of him, and that makes me happy. It means a lot to us, and it sounds like getting this ring would mean a lot to you and Serge. Sometimes buying a seemingly frivolous thing is really worth it.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Is it "worth" it? Well, no. I mean when I think about the other things I could buy with the money my husband spent on my ring, it makes me a little panicky.
But you know what? It is a symbol of my husband loving me and I get to proudly wear it and pretend that I'm a real grown up and get a little giddy when people compliment me on it.
Serge wanting to get you this little ring means that he wants to spoil you a little. That he loves you a lot, that he is PROUD to call you his wife and that he wants the world to know it.
Let him get you the ring.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAutumn

After 12 years of wearing my simple band, my husband begged me to let him upgrade my ring. And we did. And we couldn't really afford it but it was so important to him that I gave in. And I LOVE IT!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjeneria

Just do it. There will never be a "practical" or "ideal" time to buy a piece of expensive jewelry. I put off getting an engagement ring for the longest time (mostly because I'm picky) but my fiance finally insisted and bought me a beautiful diamond ring, and I wear it everyday and love it. I'm not much of a jewelry person either, but I love my ring, and I'm glad that he got it for me.

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Let him do it! The ring represents his love and devotion, rejecting it would break his heart. Sometimes being impractical is OKAY and feels great!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeia444

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