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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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The Incident of the Razor Burn and the Butt Paste

Listen. Don't try and shave before a doctor appointment in the third trimester just to impress your doctor. Really. Don't do it.
"Everything okay in there?"

"Uh. Yeah." I grunted and briefly considered asking him to shave my Business because have you ever tried shaving your Business when you can’t see it? But I couldn’t do that to him. The mental image of him holding up my stomach with one hand and shaving my Lady Bits with the other doesn’t strike me as very sexual. And, my God, he already has to watch my vagina stretch around the head of another human being so I figured I’d leave the poor man be.
That's what I'm babbling about today.