Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
Search The Girl Who
« Remember That Scene In E.T. Where Gertie Plays Dress-Up With Him? | Main | You Are A Feminist »
Friday
Apr022010

The Telecommuting Mother

She's taken a few steps here and there but, for the most part, Violet hasn't been all that in to walking. Which, can you blame her? We have to walk for the rest of our lives, so I've just been like, that's cool, take a free ride where you can get it, little lady. It's a theory I've subscribed to for many years now and it hasn't yet let me down.

Still, I've been surprised. I kind of thought kids got to walking around one. A quick look around the internet shows that isn't the case. Still, fourteen months felt a little late. I wasn't going to push it though, I figured she'd walk when whe was goddamn good and ready to walk.

Even so, you can't help but silently compare your baby to the babies of other women. For instance: Meg? From work? Her daughter Scarlett has been walking pretty much since birth. Like, the kid tap-danced out of the womb, I kid you not. And then Meg's all "Scarlett says words like mama and ball and soliloquy and differentiate and enjoys a martini when I read Dickens to her. I'm like, that over-achieving Scarlett can suck it. Well, I told Serge that, not Meg. But I thought it really hard at her the other day when she came in to work to pick up her check.

That reminds me. One time? Meg, that show off, brought Scarlett in to work and put her down to walk and Boss Lady is clapping her hands and cheering and then turns to me and says something like "So Violet's still not walking?" It wasn't Boss Lady's fault. She doesn't know that I am in a desperate competition to win. Win what, I don't know, but we're going to win dammit!

So we aren't winning yet but on Wednesday Violet tied us up! She was hanging out with her daddy in her bedroom when she suddenly decided this crawling thing just isn't cutting the mustard and there she went! Bobbing and weaving around the room like a drunken midget little person.

Serge called to tell me about it and I admit, I was mad. Pissed that I was stuck in a goddamn work cubicle while my best pal was staggering around her bedroom like she just tanked a quart of Jose Cuervo, worm and all.

God bless the internet. Within minutes he'd uploaded the video he took and there I was, committing The Ugly Cry at work watching my peanut do-si-do-ing her cute, little, biscuit ass all around the bedroom.

For your reading pleasure: Serge's version

Reader Comments (16)

SOOOOO CUTE!

Be careful what you wish for, in 13 years you might just get to see your bestie who actually did tank a quart of Cuervo - worm & alll!!!

Isn't it great that you guys have worked it out that one of you is pretty much always with her so that when this moment came that you did get to share and see it?!

One other thing, I think Violet has been practicing behind closed doors because that was some mighty fine waling for a beginner!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreenInOC

That was waaaaaayyyyyy to cute!

Great job Violet!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShelly

I too think that Violet rocked that walking thing. It's like she just sat around and studied really hard until she could score an A+ on the first steps test. You may have a future overachiever on your hands. Thanks so much for sharing her first steps with us... so adorable!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeenie Beanie

Now that's what life is all about! I can't believe a stranger's child can make a stranger smile so big so far away. Way to go V.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNJ

I agree, NJ! That closing number just rockets the ball over the fence!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIDmayday

Aww!! I love it. She's a beauty. Can I please bring my baby girl over to play? She is almost one and I bet they would have a blast ignoring each other! ok, I'm using my adorable baby to get to your mom's hot tub, but we live in a tiny house with three boys+their ass of a sometimes wonderful dad...we need a break:)

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen W.

Your post made me laugh out loud and then I watched the video! No kidding she looks like she's been drinking but wow has she figured out balance! Good for HER...er...um...you! I can't imagine how you can cry over her huge accomplishment and with the levity it provides but I haven't ventured into that part of motherhood yet (just pseudo-mom to my boyfriend's girls who live wit us) so I'm confident that much crying is always involved with joyous occasions. If it helps, my parents resorted to bribery to get me to walk (at about 14 months) and it hasn't been a problem since but I still kinda walk like Violet today!

In fact, bad example...I fell down the stairs about a month ago. My boyfriend was home and ran to my rescue. When he realized I was fine, his only statement was "I don't know if you just can't walk or if you're just stupid". In telling the story, it sounds a little aggressive but was very funny. He doesn't sugar coat much and I've fallen a bit in the last 6 months. No, not while drinking (I put the beer down) KIDDING but I do fall often...Maybe I should blame my mom for waiting to let me walk.

CONGRATS on having it all! The family, the job, and the wonderful life you've created for yourself!

Also - having a 10 year old black lab that is a doppleganger for your Max, I completely lunderstood the door thing and how the dog can't miss a minute with the family - especially the kids. We refer to the girls as "your girls" with him because he acts as though they're his kids to play with & watch over. We really can't decide if he thinks they're litter mates or his charges. No matter what, they're family memories created daily that I'll someday look back on with a tear in my eye. So thanks for sharing your family moments and future memories with us, making the world just a little better for us all.

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Monica, I can totally understand you crying in your cubicle. I would too. In fact, I think this is the first year that I didn't cry at my daughter's birthday....and she's 10:) I love it when she has accomplishments that she's proud of.

So congrats to you and your little girl. Now it's time to go around your mom's house and put up all the stuff she wouldn't want broken....ah, the joys of parenthood.

Happy Easter to you and your family.

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I laughed out loud for your little walker! I couldn't stop thinking about how she looks just like my roommate after too many shots...

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

:) awwwwoweeee! How fun and sweet was that! Congratulations to all, and to all a good walk!

Run, Violet, Run!

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterg-clair

PS. L:IKE the new banner head there!

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterg-clair

This is absolutely AWESOME! (As in, leaving me in awe AND wonder!) It is always so precious and so cool to see another human being take their first steps, it is sad you couldn't be there in person--BUT, you were working doing what a working mom has to do--and don't beat yourself up for it, because you know, she could've taken these first steps while you at the grocery store or walking the dog without her. It is absolutely wonderful, though, that Serge got video of this and was able to upload it--how fabulous! I would've cried to!!! She is walking VERY well, I guess she was just taking her sweet time before she could do it right--because she walks like she's been walking for a long, long time! She is so cute and sweet and adorable, thank you so much for sharing this oh so precious, amazing once in a lifetime moment in your daughter's life (and your life as a parent) with all of us! Following all of your journeys is truly a joy! Congrats, you have a walking kiddo--now, hang on to your butt, you'll never sit down again! But that's okay, it's great actually! Enjoy!

Oh and Happy Easter!

Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz :)

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Liz

watching your sweet little drunken sailor on her new land-legs got me teared up too.

partly 'cause my girl is six months and the thought of her doing this too one day in the not too distant future makes my heart burst a little.

but also because it seems i was just, i mean, JUST watching the video of violet being placed in your arms that first time. (talk about teared up...!)

time flies a little faster when babies are involved.

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralex

Thanks for sharing that with us that don't have any kids, she is an adorable little girl, and you are doing a great job raising her, whilst continuing to follow your dreams.

April 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSM

Adorable video!!!

April 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarcastica

Thanks for sharing! I am tearing up a bit, thinking about my almost* baby, how soon he/she would be learning to walk too. So much to look forward too. Also want to say, you two are awesome, keep it up. And you, Monica, DON'T STOP WRITING.

*had a miscarriage 2 months ago, was 11 weeks along. We're trying again, still humping!

April 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracee
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.