"Hey Violet! Wanna go down the sliding board?"
"Weeee! Look at Violet go down the sliding board!"
We were at the park with Violet yesterday. One of the rare times when we can both go. I, at 185 pounds, was lumbering around mostly spectating while Serge got in on the action.
For the first ten minutes I ignored this sliding board business he kept shouting. But finally, after about the twentieth sliding board in fifteen minutes, I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.
"Dude. What the hell is a sliding board?"
He rolled his eyes, like, huh? and pointed to the blue plastic slide parked in the sand.
"Oh, yes. You mean the SLIDE?" I asked.
"It's a SLIDING BOARD".
"What? There ain't no board about it. It's a plastic slide."
The argument continued after we got home and he Googled sliding board and showed me about twenty photos of a regular old park slide.
"Well. That's the dumbest term I ever heard. Sliding board. Please."
"I grew up on the East Coast. You know, where the boats from England first landed. My people invent things and use relevant terms. You grew up here on the Wild Frontier that was developed hundreds of years later. You just learn about the stuff we invent and still, you don't hear about it for years and years. That's why you're still saying "sucker" and the rest of the world knows it's a "lollipop". We're all laughing at you, you know."