Her absolute loss of perspective and nosedive into nuttiness makes me feel better about myself. And also I kind of love her for her brutal if ill-advised honesty. Still. What an asshole I am. I totally know I'm an asshole, I don't need you to tell me that but you can if you want.
Also, I'm just killing time while these pictures of my living room upload and I can show you what we've done to the place. If you remember, the living room used to be carpeted. Wait, there's a photo somewhere of the living room when we rented the house (sight unseen), hang on a sec and I'll go find it so as to jog your memory and such.
Okay so yes, I found the photo. Here is the living room as it was when we rented the home:
Thar she blows. The living room. Now, remember, I hit the landlord jackpot. The two industrious lords of my land ripped up the carpet before I even moved here. They also repainted the walls, those glorious landlording bastards did.
All this made the living room makeover the easiest of all our projects. Basically, all we added was a new couch, a coffee table, end tables and some curtains. I went with blue. Blue curtains and pillows, I mean. Yes, blue. Again. Just like the bathroom and just like the kids' playroom which I'll show you tomorrow. But, you know, fuck it. I like blue and I don't think you walk into our house and think blue... But, well, you can be the judge of that.
That there is a view of the living room from the dining room. The awesome thing about this house is that there are huge, solid wood doors in every room. You can shut doors and not hear a peep even though the Fresh Beat Band is at top volume mere feet away. This is sanity-saving, I tell you.
Okay so come in a bit closer and notice that I decided to put our television on the larger wall instead of in the little nook where the previous tenants had their TV. I put one of our bookshelves there. Serge and I are still locked in a debate over whether to hang the TV on the wall or leave it as is... I prefer it as is - what do you think? Here's another view of the room in which I devote many hours to watching my Real Housewives of Wherever.
Couches the color of dirt is a key component of parenting. And dog ownership. Also: leather. Durable, easy to wipe off. Trust me. Microfiber is bullshit.
Now listen, I'm showing you these photos a bit prematurely. We still have a large mirror we want to hang over the couch instead of that painting and we wanna add some other artwork. I want to get one of these, which I'm totally in love with, and hang it somewheres prominent. Maybe over the TV?
Below Max showcases the rug we've dragged around with us for the past five years. But hey! It has a bit of blue in it which is nice. And actually? This rug is kickass. It has every color in it so if I wanted to switch it up and have pops of red and yellow in the living room it works with that shit too!
Dammit! Are those scratches on my Target coffee table already? Sonuvabitch! Can I have nothing nice? Anyway, Max wanted me to include a close-up of his paws because he's trying to mimic the gals that showcase sexy groceries on The Price Is Right.
Excellent paw work Max my man! Now let us move on to panoramic views of the glory that is where Monica stuffs herself with popcorn whilst watching shit reality television!
I like this next one because it kind of shows the killer view from my front porch. Kind of.
One last perspective which includes a bit of our empty dining room over there yonder:
Max begged me to close out with this photo and because he is such a handsome, distinguished gentleman I obliged.
Now listen. I know I'm no decorator extraordinaire. I just wanted to show y'all what I'm up to and what's going down chez Bielanko. All this shit comes from Target and other cheap joints like Walmart. Seriously. End table, coffee table, pillows, curtains - Target. TV stand was from CraigsList for $10.
So yeah... I've got to finish this bad boy off with some cool artwork and a couple nicknacks... but other than that - this is the place where I get down to my shitty reality shows, including my new obsession called I Survived... Is anyone watching that shit? OMG! Addicted!