Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
Search The Girl Who
« Even A Walk In The Park Is No Walk In The Park | Main | Your Average, Run Of The Mill Stress, Search For Self, What Does It All Mean Kind Of Depression »
Thursday
Nov082012

When You Ask A Dude To Take Your Picture...

Hand your camera to a girlfriend to snap a photo of you and she'll take ten, let you look at them, then take ten more until you're happy. Often, you don't even have to look at them; she'll snap a photo, look at it and say, "One more. You won't like that one."

Because chicks know. They know you aren't going to dig the low angle that highlights your double chin, your leering grin and squinty eyes, they just know.

Hand a camera to a dude and he'll snap one photo and, without looking at the result, start to hand the camera back. "Just take one more," you'll say because you know that nobody ever snapped one photo of you that turned out to be magnificent. You need twenty so you can choose the lesser of all the evils. So he'll snap a second photo and get back to whatever he was doing and then you'll look at both photos of you and, of course, they suck.

That's what happened at a Halloween party we attended. We don't have many photos of me because I'm always the one taking the photos. So I handed my camera to our buddy Shawn and he took these two photos (he only took the second one after I told him to snap one more quick one) and I submit them to you as evidence that, much like they don't understand our need to commune in the bathroom, dudes also don't understand our need for ten photos in various poses so that we have choices when it comes to picking the one photo that doesn't show our double chin or make our ass look big.

Photo 1



To a dude this photo may look perfectly fine but ladies, back me up here. You KNOW this is a terrible photo. Thank God I requested a second snap...

Even though it ain't much better...



I'm not sure which is better. Leery, grinny, squinty-eyed doofus girl with no feet or girl who looks like she's smelling a fart. Serge, of course, looks great in both photos. And even though I have about eight billion photos from Halloween, these are the only ones of me. THANKS A LOT, SHAWN. Next time I'm asking your wife to take the photos.

Click here if you want to see all the pics that include Chicken Little and Scooby Doo trick-or-treating up a damn storm.

Reader Comments (1)

I don't even have a picture of me on Halloween. Sheesh. Of course, it's the same costume I've worn a dozen time over the past twenty years. That I made myself. So I've got pictures of me in it.

November 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Domestic Goddess
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.