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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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« 12/12/12 | Main | I Am Beautiful »
Monday
Dec102012

Water Bills and Silver Bells

I just ate a bag of popcorn and when that didn't do the trick I hoovered what remained of a bag of potato chips after we hosted some friends for the weekend. I don't know what I was looking for, but I didn't find it at the bottom of either bag.

I committed the aforementioned crime while attired in my brand new "workout clothes" purchased with the best of intentions from Target. I was wearing them after an aborted trip to the gym which I also attempted with the best of intentions until I realized our water was supposed to be shut off today because I spaced paying the water bill. To be fair, the bill comes quarterly or something like that and I think a couple of the bills got sent to our landlord and so I didn't realize the direness of the situation until today. Or that's the story I'm going with, anyway.

It's just been one of those days. Plus, I keep checking the comments section of this post and instead of becoming excited when I see a new comment as is my usual reaction my stomach fills with dread.

Am I ignorant? I really don't think so. But I'm kind of taking a beating in the comments, granted it's only one person but when a second person, a longtime commenter who I enjoy, also expressed disappointment I had to wonder. I mean, if I was ignorant I wouldn't know it, would I? That's the definition of ignorant.

And yet, no matter how many times I turn the situation over in my head I feel like I attempted to instigate a valid discussion, it just didn't turn out how I'd planned.

I sit here in a home bedazzled with Christmas lights and I feel gray. Just one of those days, I guess. On the bright side, the brighter-than-the-Christmas-lights bright side, we just upgraded from a car seat to a booster seat with Violet and OH MY GOD, I see a life worth living on my horizon. A life that doesn't involve twenty minutes of prep work to back out of the driveway.

The kid, she can climb up into the booster seat herself, all I have to do is a simple one-handed maneuver with the seatbelt and SNAP. Done. She can even click out of her seat on her own. People. PEOPLE. This is as unbelievable as her potty training. Like, she is handling her business and life is slowly but surely becoming easier.

Henry, on the other hand... Well, let's just say he's a special kind of cuh-razy. A sweet spirit, that kid. Except for when he's a maniac, which is most of the time. As I type I hear the familiar war of words with his dad over who has control of the Christmas tree ornaments. Henry believes they belong to him and Mr. Christmas is not having that shit. Mr. Christmas is determined to decorate in the same way he did B.C. (before children) and refuses to let S.S. Crazytown dampen his holiday cheer. I, on the other hand, would have left the bottom two feet of the Christmas tree barren if only so I wouldn't be interrupted during another epic episode of Sister Wives (my new jam) to yell at Henry to "get that ornament out of your mouth RIGHT NOW!" or "No, Henry, the lights do not go in your ears."

Uh-oh. Gotta go. That sounded like a shattering Christmas ball.


Mr. Christmas last year.


A lot of this Christmas stuff was lost in the fire.



But my mom sent a bunch more stuff in boxes this month and Serge has been thrift shopping like nobody's business so we're not too shabby this year. Photos to come!

Reader Comments (14)

Okay so.....I have been reading for a while but never commenting, cause yeah, total lurker.

But I feel the need to point out that you are not ignorant, in fact you are ridiculously funny and witty and all kinds of good things! I am not prone to flattery unless I really really mean it. I'm also not prone to commenting because its just much easier to think the replies in my head instead of writing them in a text box that usually requires me to scream at it a few times before the finished product is pefect.

Please don't let negative internet energy get you down. It's not worth it. Your life, however, is worth documenting. All the good and the bad. Keep writing, keep living. Keep writing about living.

Just....ya know. Rockon.

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterashley

You are still beautiful person, Monica. Okay we are ALL ignorant in some way or another,.Whoever thinks they are not are liars. It's true! Though you try to be sensitive and understanding, the fact is that no one is perfect or has all of the understanding or wisdom of God to avoid every sand trap of emotional conflict which can inadvertently hurt others and shame you along the way. I ask God to give me wisdom and understanding because I fall short all the time. ALL of the time. Probably even now. Kick myself constantly in the butt ( before the car accident I actually could do that). But you did not set out to hurt anyone, Your message was clear. Still, the fact remains that without realizing the depth of the wound present and the trigger in that N word you walked into a sand trap. The best thing to do is apologize as you have with heartfelt sympathy, learn a lesson and move on. My life story! So enjoy your Christmas lights. Jesus came for all of our blunders to forgive and cleanse forever.amen. Maybe you can get the CDs with the bleeps...Merry Xmas!!!!

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergina

You are still a beautiful person, Monica. Okay we are ALL ignorant in some way or another,.Whoever thinks he is are not is a liar. It's true! Though you try to be sensitive and understanding, the fact is that no one is perfect or has all of the understanding or wisdom of God to avoid every sand trap of emotional conflict which can inadvertently hurt others and shame you along the way. I ask God to give me wisdom and understanding because I fall short all the time. ALL of the time. Probably even now. Kick myself constantly in the butt ( before the car accident I actually could do that). But you did not set out to hurt anyone, Your message was clear. Still, the fact remains that without realizing the depth of the wound present and the trigger in that ugly N word, you walked into a sand trap. The best thing to do is apologize as you have with heartfelt sympathy, learn a lesson and move on. My life story! So enjoy your Christmas lights. Jesus came for all of our blunders to forgive and cleanse forever.amen. Maybe you can get the CDs with the bleeps...Merry Xmas!!!!

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergina

I second everything Gina says. Also now I feel guilty for making you feel bad. Not at all my intent. Girl, you cannot let the Internet bring you down. Ever. Jen was harsh in her words, I was also rough, but all together it was very interesting, entertaining and worthy of a good discussion, which was had. So internet: interesting and fun, sometimes tough, but not real life. Ever.

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMiss A

When a child suddenly moves from a car seat to a booster seat, the heavens open and the angels sing. I swear -- it was such an amazing day in my life! And so it was when my 2nd daughter graduated to booster...and when the 3rd did it? Holy Crap! The newfound ease of my life rocked my whole entire world!

Haters suck. I hope you can turn off their noise!

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

Long time reader/lurker and I don't believe I have ever commented before. I enjoy reading your blog. You are entertaining to say the least, and I find you very relatable. I don't know why anyone would leave you negative comments but there are some "people" who just can't help themselves. Try to ignore them and feel some pity on their dumb asses.
peace~
monica

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterI don't have a blog

@Gina - After really thinking about the whole thing I think my only ignorance was in assuming I could successfully touch this subject with a blog post. I don't use the word, never have, but was just trying to acknowledge the weirdness of white people listening to/singing along with hip hop containing the word and I don't think it came across that way.

@ Miss A - I loved our exchange. It made me do some hard core introspection, always a worthwhile endeavor!

December 11, 2012 | Registered CommenterMonicaBielanko

Monica, i thought the conversation you inspired was great. I didn't comment because well..i don't know. But interesting none the less. Thank you for that. Don't be gray.

Your house looks amazing with the lights..can't wait to see pictures of this year!

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercharity

Don't worry - we all have these days. I have been having one myself. Mean comments suck - but there are also a lot of nice comments as well.

December 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpostmormongirl

Okay but I must add one last thing: The word which has been bothering me for days now has nothing to do with rap or hip hop or anything you wrote in connection to it. The word was...and I read it in one of your posts several days ago but for some deep seated reason, and I probably ought to seek counsel, but here it is: Casserole. Ugh...nothing you said about it. Just seeing that word. Cuts deep. That's all.

Carry on.

December 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergina

You do use "that word" though. You used it 10 times in that post.

I hope the perspective people offered as to why your post was problematic has made some impact on you.

December 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElle

I know this Christmas decorating was from last year, but it's BEAUTIFUL! I'm sad to hear that a lot of it was damaged in the fire though, that's no good. And what a good Mom to send more!

Can I just say that the moment my twins learned to pour milk into their own cereal, I felt like I had been given a gift from the GODS! Kids who can feed themselves = more sleeping for Mom in the morning.
You have EVERY right to celebrate those simple, yet AMAZING moments with your kiddos, like climbing into booster seats and being able to pee on their own.
It's the little things, right?

PS. It was SO fun to meet you in NY. Cason even referred to you as "one of the good ones" ha! That means you're pretty great in his book ;)

December 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelley Smith

I can relate to a few things. 1) I feel guilty my first reaction to your post was to suggest more awesome white rappers, instead of engage in your disucussion. I guesss I missed the point. I also want to clarigy that I'm not racist either, I don't ONLY like white rappers, I enjoy musicians of all ethnicities. I was more thinking about your comment about how you like rap but couldn't relate to some of the content, so I was merely suggesting rappers with alternative lyrics. 2) I totally spaced on paying the water bill this quarter too! For the first time ever my water was shut off this week and my husband & I couldn't take showers before work and I was so embarrased and felt like such a failure. Luckily I still had 5 gallons of water stockpiled from Hurricane Sanday so we were able to water the pets and flush the toilets. I made a payment online and the water was turned back on just a few hours later. 3) We just bought a booster seat for our son and I'm so excited to install it this weekend. 4) Our son (and pets) destroyed our Christmas tree and ornaments last year, so this year we decided NO DECORATIONS! duh duh duh! The only thing we have out is a snow globe with the manger scene in it. I feel a little guilty, but it's best for everyone's safety and sanity.

December 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrace Miller

You always inspire me... thanks for doing that.

jill

December 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJill

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