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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
Search The Girl Who
« Good Girl to the Left, Bad Hair to the Right | Main | Old, New, Borrowed and What? »

Oh, Wylet

Turn up your breath.

I don't want to turn up my breath. I don't even know what that means.

Do reindeer have smiley eyes or sparkley eyes?

Um, sparkley?

Are those your boobies?

Yes, those are my boobies.

Girls have boobies, boys have nipples. Huh mom?

Yes. I guess that's about right. Could you quit jiggling my boobies?

Pick my boogies!

Don't demand things. That's rude. Say, 'Pick my boogies PLEASE."

Pick my boogies please!

That's better.

What's this called?

That's your armpit.



Is Bambi a boy deer or girl deer?

He's a boy.

Like Rudolph?

Yes, like Rudolph.

Max is stanking me.

Yeah, Max has a stinky bum. He's farting again.

Farting? What about me? Is my bum stanking? Smell it!

No thanks. Are you tired yet?

Not yet.

How 'bout now? Tired yet?


Okay. Could you take your foot out of my face please?

I need a drink of water!

I need a drink of water, please.

I need a drink of water please!

That's better.