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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
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Tuesday
Nov052013

The Conductor



I took this photo while we were taking one of our family "nature walks" yesterday evening. The tree in the center looks like a conductor leading the forest in a symphony of nature-y things. See what a way I have with words there? 'Nature-y things.' I am clearly a master wordsmith, plucking word birds from telephone wires and releasing them, like wedding doves, into the air where they wing their way straight for your heart.

I am officially six months pregnant and the tiny babe is suddenly making a move to tear his way out of my belly in his quest for more room. The delicate butterfly flutterings have been replaced with crazed zombie scrabblings from the inside. Elbow thumps, feet bumps and tiny finger clawings. He just now thumped me directly behind the belly button, an exclamation point, if you will.

Would sir care for another mini candy bar from big brother and sister's Halloween stash? We are, unfortunately, out of Almond Joys but I can offer you a Snickers and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

He has a name. This is the first child we've called by his name since this early on. The other day Serge even tap-danced into the kitchen holding aloft a FedEx box from which he proudly procured the requisite wooden letters we plan to paint and hang on the wall of the little guy's room.

It's mostly done, the room. Like the insane people we have proven to be we have decided to move Henry into Violet's room and purchase bunk beds because we don't ever want our children to go to bed at a decent hour, apparently. Little Dude will take Henry's room and Serge and I will maintain our separate wings because we are not ready to unite in a bedroom any time soon. Make of that what you will, naysayers. Because I will bray nay right back atcha. I spent my life in my own room aside from that brief roommate thing at the University of Utah and mama likes her own space. Besides, marriage is a cobweb of compromises over money, home, parenting styles, bathroom sharing, remote controlage, angling for The Good Spot on the couch, can I not just have my own room? Is that too much to ask without a bunch of people clucking their tongues? And God, it's good. Especially now.

If you've ever tried to fall asleep while pregnant you know it's a task akin to climbing Mount Everest or some other nearly impossible feat. Unless I have two pillows behind my head, one in my arms, one jammed between my legs, one propping up stomach and one wedged into my back as I attempt to find the sweet spot - not quite on my side, not quite on my back - there will be no rest. For me or anyone daring to cross my path between the hours of 10pm and 7am.

Oh, I almost forgot! Because I've been neglecting you all so terribly lo these past few months I have decided to stop writing at MamaPop so I can devote more time to being here with you, because I am generous like that. Some of us have been gathering here for nearly a decade and it would be a shame to let it all go. But don't give up on MamaPop.com just yet! There is someone there I would like you to meet. Someone who has also been with us for the decade...

Reader Comments (7)

Just bein' greedy, but when do we get to find out the name you picked?! I'm dying over heeeere!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Holy sh!t. Are you messing with us? I feel like you're messing with us? Is that really her?

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLK

My husband and I have separate bedrooms. It's funny how many couples are ashamed to admit their arrangement if it is separate rooms. Why is there such a social stigma about this? Remember how tv in the 50's would censor a couple in one bed, by having twin beds beside each other? Can't wait for the tv shows that show happy couples in their dual suites. Ha! Whatever makes you happy and keeps you healthy. Sweet dreamz.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterniobe19

I knew I had peeped a familiar sounding name on your facebook page!! The minute I spotted it I was all Is Lofts Lost?!?! Is Lost Lofts???? Finkle Einhorn, Einhorn Finkle!!!

November 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVal

my hub and i have seperate rooms too. LOVE it.

November 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrach

can we guess the name? can we, can we?!

November 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergina

[after LK] Holy shit! you're kidding, aren't you? anyway it's great you're gonna be here more often, I've been missing you here for sure :) best ana

November 11, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranajo

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